


Show and Tell

by Sleepy_senpai



Series: Learning Lessons [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cuddling, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 13:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2694815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepy_senpai/pseuds/Sleepy_senpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The idea of becoming more human seemed extremely important to Cole, and each passing day things were learnt. He liked it, he loved it, he hated it; all at the same time. Especially when things he didn't understand popped up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Show and Tell

**Author's Note:**

> I always imagined Cole struggling through his "human" like state, trying to learn new things or cope with the new feelings. I would think he would go to the people who helped him initially become who he was, like Varric or the Inquisitor, which is what happens. Sometimes difficult questions are asked.
> 
> edit//: updated on 09/09/2016! I am running through my stories and fixing them up. <3

" _Inquisitor_?"

Lowering her papers, the noble blinked up at the spirit who stood nearby her desk, their hands fumbling with a book they held. Raising a brow, she gathered her things into a neat pile, pushed them aside, and smiled sweetly at her obviously flustered friend. Cole would visit often, usually for advice on something he learned or was trying to learn. While some things proved to be more difficult than others, and he would often get upset when no one could help him and it was something he needed to learn on his own, it had been fun. It was an adventure, for sure, but currently the spirit who became increasingly human looked incredibly troubled; more-so than usual.

"Cole, what is it? You seem...uneasy." that was an understatement. While most days he seemed peacfule enough, there were some when he was fidgety. He would wring his hands, shake his leg, look around the room; that's when she knew he was really aching to ask something, something he thought might be wrong. He had averted his gaze, obviously worried, so she asked again, lower this time, " _Cole_?"

Pressing his lips together in a thin line, he looked down, his hat covering his face completely now. 

"I already went to Varric for this, and I usually consult the both of you on matters that I feel strangely on..." he started placing the book on her desk. Instantly, she saw that it was one of Varric's chapters, and she could almost guess what this situation was about. With Cole growing more human by the day, he was experiencing more human things. "And while I did read it, I felt so  _strange_ , uneasy. There were words I did not understand, and those that I did made me want to close the book in shame. I asked Varric for help and this is what he gave me, and it didn't help me at all. If anything, it made matters worse!"

He sounded angry, _almost_ , like his trust had been taken advantage of. Unable to help it, the inquisitor smiled and grabbed the book, flipping through a few pages. It was indeed a more raunchy book, and the few paragraphs she did skim over would easily be confusing to someone as innocent and confused as Cole. There was a whole chapter on cunnilingus, she noted, before closing the book and patting the cover. Books like these weren't... unusual to her, but none the less it was an odd conversation. She passed the bound pages back over to him with a small smile.

"What is it that you asked him, Cole? What do you need help with, what are you confused about, please explain." As she spoke, she stood. Scooting her chair into the desk, she gingerly placed her hand on the others shoulder and led them towards the couch. They sat down heavily, as if the burden of this question weighed on their shoulders. His uneasiness was starting to make her a little more concerned as well. She sat beside him, turned towards him, and waited. Nothing was said for a while, and she was tempted to question him again. She waited patiently, though, not wanting to pry. Maybe he was trying to gather the right words to say, because sometimes she needed to ask him to explain it again.

He wasn't  _always_ clear on what he wanted, but he did his best to voice it. 

"Desire. I feel it sometimes, it's strange. When one thinks of desire, they often mistake it for Envy, even. A want, a dream, a jealous aspect. I'm not jealous or envious." he began finally, looking down at the flooring as if ashamed by his words. "I am not that. I am confused, and I want to know what this feeling is. It often is in my chest, it rests there like a warm orb, and sometimes it grows. Simmering, glowing, moving. Moves to my stomach, my arms, my neck, my legs. It keeps me awake, restless. I want to touch, to feel, but I don't know what. When I feel this, I just want to be free."

Again, his words made her question what it was that was bothering him. His explanation could have been for a multitude of things, and Varric may have taken it as something sexual and lustful, rather than what it was. Although interested in Cole's new life, Varric tended to forget that he was still a spirit of sorts. He was only trying to help, but it seemed to have left Cole as confused as ever. 

"Did the book help you at all?" she finally asked, glancing back over to the desk where it had been left. He stood suddenly, grabbed it from it's place, and sat back down. Flipping through pages rapidly, he shoved it into her lap. 

"Here." he said, tapping a paragraph about midway down the page.

"This is how I feel." And so the inquisitor began to read. 

 

> _"I just want him to hold me, kiss me, touch me, all of the above and everything in between. I want to lie in his arms, feel his soft caress on my face and body. He likes to drag his fingers along my jaw, my neck, my chest... it drives me wild, that light, gentle touch of his. So smooth, so controlled, but something more lies there. I can feel the strength and power that resides with it, and I know I sound selfish, but I want **more**. I  **need** more." _

"Cole, do you have these feelings for anyone in particular, or is it just something that wells up in your chest and feels like it will spill over at any moment?" she asked while closing the book, setting it onto an end table. He didn't answer, and she waited.

"Not usually anyone in particular, it just comes randomly, sometimes in waves. It'll pass and come and pass and come and I don't know how to relieve it." again he sounded frustrated, grabbing the edges of his hat and tugging them down over his already covered eyes. "I can't go around asking others and collecting information because I cannot make them forget. This way they don't ask me strange things." 

Was he talking about her personally? She didn't mean to ask odd questions, she just wanted to get to know him better, to help more. 

"Please don't think I think you as strange. I mean, yes, you may act odd sometimes, but what you are feeling is something normal. Maybe not to you, because it is something never really felt, but what you are feeling many feel too." she spoke quickly, not wanting him to run off as he so often did when faced with serious confusion. "You are feeling a type of desire that isn't bad. I don't believe it is love, because it isn't directed at anyone in specific... There are people out there that need things, like the book said, and there are people that don't. Some deal with it, some just ignore it or don't want it, and others look for it." 

"Do you feel these feelings?" he looked over to her with furrowed brows, expecting an answer.

It took her by surprise, and she looked away.

Her ears felt hot and she knew her face flushed. While she was more than happy to help Cole at any point, the moment a question as such was directed at her she didn't know how to answer. The inquisitor was often busy helping others and dealing with problems, which left little time for her to think about her own desires. When it came to want and need, she was one of those who just ignored it, shoving it aside because it wasn't necessary. What was necessary was making sure that the people who followed her and those who were in need were alive and well.

"So... you do understand, you just choose not to do it." he spoke again, obviously having read her thoughts.

"I, personally, don't act on it. Yes, it can be over whelming, and yes, I do want it, but I've been busy." the words were harder to speak than expected. "But this isn't about me, it's about you."

"...Can you help me with it? I don't know how much longer I can deal with these  _normal_ feelings. It makes me worry, what if I can't handle it? If this is so normal, what about the abnormal feelings you have spoken of? If it is as usual as you say, then I don't want to feel it as often as I do. You are strong for coping with it, but I fear I am not as strong. Maybe with practice, I will be, but it's so pent up. I just can't... I _don't_ understand it." he was asking so much and so little at the same time.

She fumbles with her fingers briefly, picking at a fraying edge on a pillow.

"I can try, Cole. I won't make any promises though, okay?" when she finished speaking, he nodded eagerly. He liked the idea that she would at least try, it was better than anything. 

"Okay. That's fine. Where do we start?" he looked at her bright eyed. Smiling softly, she held her arms out for a hug.

"Come here, give me a hug." 

He stared for a moment, knowing full and well what a hug was, but not knowing how it would help him. Pressing his lips into a thin line, he furrowed his brows and set his hat to the side. Finally, he leaned in to the hug. He was stiff and tense, his arms locking around her in a mechanic manner. Not wanting to startle him, she wrapped her arms around him carefully, obviously much more inclined to the hug than he. After a few seconds, she began to rub his back, feeling him slowly loosen up. Leaning back against the arm of the couch, he followed, his head now resting on her chest. He closed his eyes, listening to her heartbeat. Everyone's heartbeat sounded so much more loud than his, stronger too. Did he have a proper heart beat to be human? He didn't question it, he just kept still, nuzzling against her chest.

She was so warm.

A hand began to rub at his hair, combing through it and down his neck, rubbing his shoulders too. It was _almost_ like the story, but she did it so softly and carefully, as if afraid to break him. 

"This is called cuddling. It's simple, but sometimes it's really nice. It can calm the nerves. I'm not sure if it can really help, but you might just need this. A hug every now and again, some comfort." she explained sweetly, not wanting to break the silence. He nodded. "Though, you can't just go around asking people to cuddle, or hug. It might get you some...unpleasant looks. If you ever need a hug, you can come to me. I'm sure I'll be more than happy to help."

"Cuddling. I like it."


End file.
